Now, where was I?

“So I’m taking a piss in this urinal at the concert and as the stream slows down, the bloody automatic flush starts, right?

Now, I’m paranoid about the water splashing back on me while I’m standing so close, so I back up quickly. There I am, in the middle of a busy toilet, pinching my dick in my fingers and waiting for the flush to finish so I can waddle back and shake my snake. Are you following me?

I don’t understand why they can’t make it go a few seconds later than it does.”

To her credit, the woman behind the counter didn’t bat an eyelid. Her expression suggested that this wasn’t anything she hadn’t heard before. Certainly not at this hour.

“Anyway” he continued “I’ll have a vanilla thickshake and a six pack of McNuggets.”